How to Kill a Spider
How to Kill a Spider
By Chelsa H.
First notice the huge brown spider crawling across the ceiling while you are lying in bed with a good book. At first be too scared to move. Spiders have never really been your thing. Realize that if it falls off the celling, it will land on you and touching a spider gives you the chills.
Scream for your husband and jump off the bed into the safety of the bathroom doorway. Watch as he comes running in thinking you were screaming for an actual emergency and try to explain this is an emergency. Bat your eye lashes while he is telling you that you are worthless and good for nothing. Smile when he slides past you cowering in the doorway and grabs a wad of toilet paper heading for the toilet, gone forever with one flush.
Say “thank you dear” as the man you married mumbles something under his breath as he is walking out of the room, back to whatever he was in the middle of before this spider interrupted you. Curl back up in your bed and think to yourself you are not worthless, you are good at getting rid of spiders.